What drove 1.2 Lakh Indian men to Suicide in 2022? - A Research

BIG QUESTION: Why are Indian men killing themselves?

Today, I chose to do some research that can help the cause that Atul Subhash started.

You must have seen the following statistics directly/indirectly mentioned in my previous articles:

1. Every 6 minutes, a married man kills himself
2. 72% of all suicides are by men

The Big Question

THE BIG QUESTION: Why are Indian men killing themselves?

I will try to answer this question by analyzing the data published by NCRB, particularly the recent one for the year 2022.

Let me be frank here: I DON’T know why exactly men are killing themselves.

However, I believe, the patterns derived from the data can tell us some stories on how we can take care of men in our family and ourselves (as men).

Let’s start!

Top 3 Passions of Men

Based on my understanding, men generally are passionate about these three things (in no particular order):

1. Money – To provide for their family
2. Family & Relationships
3. Reputation

I wanted to see what the 2022 suicide stats tell about these dimensions.

And boy, I was intrigued!

Money

First, let’s talk about money.

Let’s analyze how men fare against women in suicides due to bankruptcy or indebtedness, poverty and unemployment.

One thing is clear: Men kill themselves when they are left with no money, more so than women.

Men have the primary ‘provider’ responsibility and it hurts them when they can’t do that.

There are two possibilities in this scenario:

1. Are men getting into bankruptcy, debt, poverty and unemployment more than women? OR
2. Are more men killing themselves when faced with these situations?

Both of these possibilities are scary.

What can we do about this?

If men are getting into these financial situations MORE than women, and that is leading to their suicide, it is a good reason to support initiatives like:

1. Focus on boys’ employable education
2. Focus on paid internships for boys
3. Support for “Right to work” when there are matrimonial litigations – This directly affected Atul
4. Conducting court hearings on video conference, with in-person as an exception, not a norm
5. Cap on maintenance, alimony owed by men

Alternatively, if MORE men are killing themselves while facing similar frequency of these financial situations as women, it is a good reason to support initiatives like:

1. Reduce anxiety about loss of income
2. Lenient loans for men who want to start a business
3. Reduce expectations on guys to pay for all dates
4. Sharing the school fees of kids by both parents
5. Free support groups for unemployed men that help in finding jobs + upskilling

Family and Relationships

Next, let’s talk about family and relationships 🥰

Let’s analyze how men fare against women in suicides due to family problems and marriage-related issues.

Almost EQUAL number of men die from marriage-related issues as women.

Have we ever stopped to think that men are the actual victims of dowry culture?

It is the girl’s father or brother that has to pay for the dowry, no?

I would go so far as to say that dowry is exclusively a crime against MEN. But, let’s keep that aside now and talk about family problems.

From the graph, we see family problems affect men more than women.

I want to make one thing clear: We are talking about 2022, when the norm is the separate residence for husband and wife, not the joint family. Average household size is 4.2 people, according to Ministry of Statistics and Program Implementation (MOSPI). See screenshot 👇

So, we cannot discount the role of a man’s inter-personal relations with wife when we talk about “Family Problems”, even when they are not about “marriage” per-se.

Now, why are more men killing themselves due to family problems?

Here are the possible reasons why family problems affect men more 👇

1. Men are more affected by disturbance of peace in family than women
2. Men think it is their job to keep the peace in family and when that fails, they feel like a failure
3. Men feel themselves as the default ‘protector’ of the family, not only physically but also emotionally. Any emotional disturbances to a family member affect their ‘protector’ instinct.

What can we do about this?

1. We need to encourage men relieving themselves of the ‘Keeper of peace’ responsibility.
2. We could also create some safe spaces where men can vent out their family issues, without any need for solutions, destressing them at least temporarily.
3. We need to advocate for equal parenting rights and access to children
4. We need to create awareness about parental alienation and its effects on fathers
5. We need to encourage men to build strong support networks outside family

Reputation

Now, let’s talk about the third factor: REPUTATION

Let’s see how the men’s suicides fare in the reason “Loss of social reputation”

One thing is clear: Men are more sensitive to social reputation than women.

Also, few more things that come out by seeing this graph:

• Both men and women see a steep rise in numbers when then hit 18 years of age. However, the numbers ease for women after 30 years, while the numbers continue to increase steeply for men even after that, upto 45 years.

• There are multiple ways in which men’s reputation can be tarnished from 18-45 years, particularly when it comes to public perception of:
  • How they treat their parents?
  • How they treat their wife?
  • How much they earn?
  • How much they are dependable at workplace?
  • And, many more
• To give credit to the misuse of law argument, many of the misused laws target the loss of reputation of men in this vulnerable age group of 18 to 45.
  • Fake rape cases
  • Fake POSH complaints
  • Fake dowry harassment cases
  • Fake domestic violence cases

What can we do about this?

1. Introduce strict punishment for false cases that malign men’s reputation
2. Make filing false cases a non-bailable offense
3. Protect the identity of the accused until proven guilty
4. Encourage men to prioritize their mental health over societal expectations
5. Encourage media to follow ethical guidelines when reporting cases involving men

Total Male Suicides by Age

Finally, we will see a very similar looking graph – The one about Total suicides across all causes.

This graph looks very similar to the loss of reputation graph, but this is the TOTAL suicide count graph.

Some important observations from this:

1. Protector and Provider expectations on men kick-in at 18 and sort of ease around 45, with children taking up some responsibility, if not all. These expectations overlap with the spike of male suicides during those ages. (Correlation: Yes! Causation: May be)

2. Men kill themselves in higher numbers than women, even at old age.

3. Men kill themselves in higher numbers during their PRODUCTIVE years, when they can do a lot to give to the society economically. This is a cruel way to lose GDP.

Alright, now, what do we do?

1. Reduce/remove the expectation of man to be the sole provider and protector
2. Share expenses equally between men and women
3. Share emotional duties like keeping peace/mediation in the family
4. Create safe spaces for men to vent out their family issues, even without solutions
5. Also, find a systemic solution to stop the menace of false cases that target men in their prime.
6. Even when such litigations arise, protect men’s right to work and earn.
7. Introduce a ‘no-fault’ divorce using which regretful women can get a divorce citing incompatibility without blaming the husband.
8. Stop the menace of indiscriminate doling out of maintenance and alimony.
9. Show men some love ❣️

Peace ✌️